


Meet Me in California

by caitlinrose923



Series: Plain White T's/Song Project [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan September Sunshine (Once Upon a Time), F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 13:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20818331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitlinrose923/pseuds/caitlinrose923
Summary: Killian Jones has a dream that's taking him to the west coast, but the love of his life, one Emma Swan, wants to stay back east.A little angsty one-shot.





	Meet Me in California

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my entry for CS September Sunshine!
> 
> This is also the _second_ story from my "Plain White T's" collection! It's based (quite loosely) on the song of the same name from the album Big Bad World. 
> 
> Thank you, once again, to [shireness-says](https://shireness-says.tumblr.com) and [snidgetsafan](https://snidgetsafan.tumblr.com) for giving me and my fics more attention than I deserve, and also once again for not murdering me for asking them one hundred billion times to look at it one more time.
> 
> CONTENT WARNINGS: Brief mentions of child abuse (past) and drugs (present). Mentions of sexy times but no details. Mention of canon minor character death.

_I don't wanna say goodbye_  
_And I don't wanna make you cry_  
_I just wanna see you smile again_  
_'Cause everything I used to be_  
_Is waiting over there for me_  
_This is a beginning not an end_

_“You know where I’ll be... -KJ”_

He leaves the note on her pillowcase and sneaks out the door. It’s breaking his heart to leave her. To leave this. But he doesn’t have a choice, and she’s made her opinions on California _very_ clear.

\---

“I don’t want to fucking move, Killian. I like it here! New York has everything we could want!”

“Emma, this job is my dream,” he begged her to hear him.

“And New York is _mine_,” she said back.

They’d been at an impasse. Neither of them wanted to ask so much of the other, but eventually, someone had to relent.

“I’m taking the job, love.”

A soft sigh.

“I know you are.”

Killian would be teaching Marine Biology at UC Berkeley, his brother’s alma mater. He’d been applying to teach there every time a spot opened up in a related field, and finally he’d gotten an interview. He’d flown out, never expecting to get the job after how long it had taken just to get this far.

“We like your persistence, Mr. Jones. Liam was the same way,” Dr. Regina Mills, the Department Head of Biological Sciences, had said. “He never took no for an answer, unless he was fully and continuously proven wrong.” She shook her head sadly. “He was a good man. We’ll be lucky to have you. Welcome to the team.”

Unfortunately, he’d waited far too long to tell Emma. He knew that New York was her home, that she’d made her way to the big city all by herself after growing up in foster care. He’d known, even from the beginning, that she wouldn’t want to leave. 

But she also knew that he _did_. She’d known he was applying for the job - in fact, she’d been rooting for him to get it. Neither of them had truly been ready for the reality that would come along with that.

“We should… we should break up, right?” She’d sounded so small. 

“We don’t have to.” He’d watched her carefully from across the kitchen island. “The contract is only for four years. We could just--”

“No, we couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to do it,” Emma had responded in little more than a whisper. She shook her head and went to bed early. Her head hung low as she walked towards their room. Killian wished he knew how to reconcile both of their wishes, but there was simply no way. 

When he crawled in beside her hours later, she’d tensed up at first. It stung, deep down in his soul where she’d made her mark long ago, that her initial response to him was to recoil. He began to back up, to give her space, but then she’d relaxed into him. He felt it the moment she drifted off to sleep as her breathing evened out and the tiny snores began.

He understood what she meant. Staying faithful to someone when they’re three thousand miles away certainly wouldn’t be the easiest thing. There would be temptations, and there would be lonely, heartbreaking times when the easiest solution would be to find someone else. Killian knew he’d never, not in a million years, find anyone he’d rather share his bed with than Emma Swan, but he didn’t blame her for not wanting to try.

They’d stayed together until the end, though. Whether out of convenience - where else would he go if he left their apartment? - or habit, he wasn’t sure, but in the three months between the job offer and the beginning of his contract, they’d acted as if their relationship didn’t have a timestamp. Their friends thought they were crazy, but they’d never been concerned with what others thought of their relationship.

“Why don’t you just stay together and visit on weekends?” Mary Margaret had tried.

“Flights are nearly $300, even if we bought tickets two months out. It would be insane. And can you imagine the jetlag?” Emma had shut it down quickly, before Killlian could even open his mouth to agree with the idea.

“Technology is pretty crazy these days,” Ruby had raised an eyebrow. “You guys could practically still be _together_ even while you’re apart.”

“Gross.” Emma had made a face, and on that, Killlian had agreed.

(Not that he hadn’t gone home and looked into _exactly_ what sort of technology Ruby had been referring to. It actually _was _pretty gross.)

\---

The plan was for Emma to take him to the airport, to say one final goodbye. But he can’t bear that. So he calls an Uber and leaves the note, and he swears he’s not crying, he’s just so very tired. He’d told her that he was on a flight more than four hours later than his actual departure time, knowing she’d sleep until the last possible moment. 

“Killian, please,” she’d begged him last night - _their_ last night.

“Emma, I want you so badly--” he’d started, shaking his head. It wasn’t a good idea, it would be too confusing for both of them. They hadn’t slept together in weeks, not since another letter from UC Berkeley had come, informing him of his official start date and the orientation schedule. He’d resigned himself to the fact that he’d never know Emma in that way ever again - that their last time, back in the middle of July, the night after the Nolans’ barbecue, would be just that: their last.

“Then have me,” she’d said, and Killian was a goner. He’d reached over to turn the bedside lamp off, losing himself in the love of his life.

Killian leans his head against the cold window of the car. He wishes he could regret sleeping with her one last time, all of the confusion and frustration swirling around his stomach, threatening to make him sick. But he can’t seem to feel any remorse. He’ll miss her more than he’s ever missed anyone (save Liam, of course). But this is worse in some ways: she’d still be in New York, living her life. Just living it without him.

He lands in California at half past ten, though his east coast brain is telling him it’s already lunchtime. But the sun sits just left of center, glaring at him, and he lets out a deep breath he wasn’t aware he was holding onto.

_Get yourself used to the west coast, lad_, he tells himself. 

He spends a few hours unpacking in his new (very small, somehow cold despite the California heat) apartment. Everything feels darker without Emma here to brighten it. He shakes his head, knowing how much she’d hate a cheesy line like that. 

\---

“Do your legs hurt?” he’d asked on one of their first dates.

She’d looked down at herself in confusion, shaking her head.

“Because you were running through my dreams all last night,” he’d grinned and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Why do you say things like that when you’re much more charming without pickup lines?” 

“Because I simply can’t help it with you.”

\---

Killian sighs and changes into his swim trunks. There’s no better way to clear his head than to jump into the water. He’d prefer to sail, but just being at the beach is a start.

As soon as his toes touch the ocean, he feels a bit better. The fog starts to clear, and for the first time in days - maybe even weeks - he feels the heavy weight that’s settled on his shoulders start to lighten a bit.

\---

“Killian, you’ll start to prune!” Liam shouted from miles away. Or maybe just feet. Killian couldn’t tell, submerged in the ocean as he was. “Besides, you’ve got to come have lunch!”

“Then you’ll make me wait another hour before I can come back in!” Killian shouted back petulantly.

“You’re damn right I will! Now come eat!” Killian knew better than to ignore his brother when his tone got sharp. With a sigh, he found his footing and slowly pulled himself out of the water. 

It was the first time he’d been out west, and all because Liam was in college. He was bettering himself, proving that Killian could do the same. They’d had anything but a normal childhood, Liam filing for emancipation at fourteen, and legally adopting ten-year-old Killian the moment he was able to four years later. They’d struggled more than most, and Liam was strict, but anything was better than Brennan’s alcohol-induced tirades and the sound of the belt coming out of its loops--

Killian shook himself free of the memory as he climbed out of the ocean towards his brother. There was a full picnic set out for them, with sandwiches and sparkling cider and cookies for dessert.

“Why brother, you shouldn’t have! What’s the occasion?”

“It’s the first day of the rest of our lives, Killian.” Liam held out a glass of sparkling cider for Killian, and they clinked their plastic cups together.

\---

Floating in the ocean now, Killian can almost taste the cider. He can hear his brother’s laugh.

So much for clearing his head. He’d just gone from missing one love to missing another.

With a sigh, he climbs out of the ocean and searches for something to eat before sitting outside alone and watching the sunset. Emma will already be asleep, or getting ready for bed. He wonders if she feels as awful and alone as he does, and he hopes she doesn’t. As much as it breaks his heart to think about, he hopes that she doesn’t feel any sadness over his departure. He hopes she moves on quickly and that she’s not in half the pain he’s in.

When Killian is good and depressed, he heads home. _No, not home_, he reminds himself. _Just a temporary living space_.

He washes the ocean and sand away from his body, throwing on his most comfortable sweats and a random t-shirt. It’s not until he catches sight of himself in the mirror that he sees it’s the shirt Emma made him buy at the first concert he’d taken her to.

\---

“Come on, Killian, it’s hilarious!” 

“Guak...ward?” He wasn’t even sure how to pronounce it, but she was cracking up and he knew he was going to buy the shirt.

“It’s like awkward but...guacamole.”

“That isn’t even a sentence, nevermind an explanation!” But now he was laughing, too, and even though he didn’t like the band that much, he bought the shirt, and Emma ended up wearing it to bed more often than he did.

\---

Killian knows that everything he owns is bound to remind him of Emma Swan. Their lives had been intertwined for the better part of five years. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less; it only makes the ache in his chest grow exponentially.

He takes a deep pull on the new vape pen he’s purchased. The one good thing about California, aside from the beaches, is recreational marijuana. He’s always been a social smoker, but now he breathes in the vapors alone in his room, hoping they’ll lull him to sleep.

It works, and he dreams of nothing but Emma. 

He’s in the midst of a particularly vivid dream - reliving a delicious memory involving a food fight that led to naked bodies and whipped cream on the countertop in their kitchen - when a loud knock jolts him back to consciousness and, by consequence, real life.

He grumbles the whole way to the door, unsure of why anyone would be disturbing him at - he peeks at the clock above the oven as he passes the kitchen - _six in the fucking morning!?_ He’s only been here a day, he can’t have pissed off his neighbors yet, can he?

Whoever is waiting on the other side of the door is quite impatient, knocking again three more times before he makes his way from his bedroom to the front door of the apartment. He tries to look through the peephole, but it’s covered in a layer of dust and grime on the outside, and he can’t make out a single thing through it. _Just another item on the to-do list_, he thinks to himself as he throws the door open, ready to tell off whoever felt the need to wake him up --

“Emma?”

“Killian,” she breathes. And then she’s in his arms. “I found you!” She pulls away from him just slightly before: “You left me!” She hits him in the chest.

“Ow! I don’t… Emma, love, I’m overjoyed that you’re here but I don’t quite… why are you here?” He holds her just far enough away that he can look her in the eyes, still making sure that she’s real.

In response, she reaches into her back pocket and holds up a boarding pass. He stares at it, unsure of what she’s showing him.

_ **DEPARTING: 10:45AM** _

It’s the time he’d told her his flight was. He’d found information for a mid-morning flight and told her he was taking it before actually booking a 6AM.

“Surprise,” she whispers, trying to read his face.

“You booked the flight I was supposed to be on.” She nods. “Why did you… Emma, you made your thoughts on California _quite_ clear. I can’t ask you to--”

“You’re not asking. I’m telling. Killian, New York was only home because you were there. Before I found you, it was just a place to blend in. You made it something special.” She takes a deep breath, and Killian can see her struggling, forcing herself to open up despite the blush forming on her cheeks. “The more I thought about living there without you… Killian, I don’t want to be anywhere, in any city, without you.” She laughs and looks away, and tries to make a joke, her favorite defense mechanism. “Besides, I thought about all of the California girls that would be knocking down your door in no time, and I didn’t even want to give them the chance.”

His voice is soft when he responds.

“First of all, until the moment you landed here, there was _no one_ in California that I had any interest in entertaining. Second, I still have a lot of questions, but I would very much like to kiss you now.”

“By all means, Cap--” but his lips are on hers before she can finish saying his nickname.

\--- 

“You look ridiculous,” she’d told him on their first Halloween together.

“I’m Pop-Eye!” he’d grinned around his fake pipe.

“I can see that!” She was dressed in normal clothing: black jeans, black sweatshirt, and her favorite red leather jacket over top.

“At least I’m dressed up, Swan,” he said as he gestured towards her. “Get into the spirit, love!”

“I am dressed up!”

“What are you supposed to be?”

“I’m a modern day Red Riding Hood.” She lifted up the hood of her sweatshirt.

“That hood is black, Swan.”

“Close enough, Captain.”

“I think Pop-Eye’s just a sailor.”

“Mmm, well, for today, he’s a captain.” 

They never did make it to the Halloween party that year.

\---

When he finally comes up for air, something occurs to him.

“You landed yesterday.”

“I did.”

“But you’re just getting to my apartment today?” She blushes again in response.

“Well, I came yesterday, but you weren’t here.” She rolls her eyes, backing away from him just slightly. “I mean, it took me a bit to find it, and then you weren’t here, so I went to the beach.” He smiles at how well she knows him. “But Killian, there are _so many beaches_, I had no idea which one you’d be at. So then I tried the college, but obviously no one’s there yet because it’s still a week before orientation and--”

He’s kissing her again. Because somehow, he was lucky enough to not only find someone like Emma Swan, but also to fall in love with her. And to have her feel the same damn way.

“Where’s your stuff?” he asks, searching behind her - they’re still in the doorway, he realizes - for a bag or two.

“Well I couldn’t bring everything, but what I did bring is all at the hotel. I had to get a room last night, obviously.” She’s still leaning against him, as though she doesn’t want to be apart from him anymore, even if only by an inch.

“Are you really moving here, Emma? That’s truly what you want?” He takes her face in his hands, looking directly into her eyes once more.

“Yes. It _truly_ is. And--” She starts a sentence but never finishes it, because Killian is kissing her and pulling her into his apartment, letting the door close softly behind them.

“I love you,” he whispers against her mouth, and though it’s far from the first time he’s said the words, they feel brand new on his tongue.

“I love you, too.” He feels her smile when she says it, and he makes a mental note to buy some whipped cream, because they’ve got a new kitchen to fight in.

_Meet me in California_  
_I'll be there waiting for your call_  
_I'll be there waiting for you_  
_'Cause you know in California_  
_There's something better for us all_


End file.
